Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
