I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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