i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
