I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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