I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
