dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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