I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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