So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
