I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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