I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
