My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
