I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
