? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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