Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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