i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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