out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
