She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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