i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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