i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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