i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
