At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This toilet bowl is my home.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
