don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
