he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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