so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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