your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
