wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
