I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
