woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i out mim tonsoeep
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
