Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
