Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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