is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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