I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
