So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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