Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
