come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
