4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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