He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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