16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
