I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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