Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
