I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
