I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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