Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
