The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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