come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
