this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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