The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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