I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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