Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
