It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
