You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
